Password...is your computer safe

During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using thefollowingpassword:

MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofy

When asked why such a big password, she said that it had to be at least 8 characters long.

The Original Computer!!!!

Memory was something you lost with age

An application was for employment

A program was a TV show

A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano

A web was a spider's home

A virus was the flu

A CD was a bank account

A hard drive was a long trip on the road

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

And if you had a 3.5 inch floppy.

You just hoped nobody ever found out!?!

Does this work for you....?

the mouse is missing..................

Something crashed on my computer

Tech Support

One day a blonde was having trouble with her computer, so she calls tech support.

"Hello how can I help you?," the tech support woman says.

"Yes, I am having trouble getting my computer to do anything," the blonde says.

"What window do you have open?"

"Are you crazy! it's freezing cold outside!"

Music Lovers....!!!!!

This site is great!!!

Just type in any song that was ever played, and see what happens. Then, following the
end of the song, it will keep playing songs of the same era forever.
http://www.theradio.com
Enjoy and God Bless you all in Music..................

Computer Challenged?

New customer to Tech Support: “It says, hit any key and when I do that nothing happens".
Tech Support: Can you try again and tell me what happens?
Customer: "Tried but nothing”
Tech Support: “What key did you hit?"
After a moment and some chick ling sound the customer replied: "Well, first I tried my car key and just now my office key."

Make the job motivating.....!!!!

Pressed for time, few entrepreneurs prepare written job descriptions. However, experts agree that improvising is not a winning strategy. The more accurate and realistic you are about specifications and job requirements for the position, the more likely that your people will feel motivated to do a good job. It's important to:

• Get your top employees involved in their jobs description, so they feel they have genuine input.
• Put the emphasis on active, engaging verbs such as "analyzes", "sets up" or "operates."
• Build in clear goals so that employees can see visible progress and results.
• Ensure that the work is challenging enough for the employee: don't hire somebody with too many skills for the job. Generation "Y" employees don't like jobs that feel trivial.
• Give your employees enough leeway to be independent, which encourages personal and professional development.
• Compensate your employees based on their performance.

Your top performers deserve ...ATTENTION

Manage your top performers

Your star performers may be a little more demanding than your average performers. They tend to leave companies if they feel they're not getting enough attention.

Factor these points in:

• Give your top performers some leeway. Avoid micromanaging and give them the room to do their best.
• Get their input often. If you don't seek their ideas, they'll stop giving them to you.
• Reward excellent performance with extra perks. However, be modest and be careful not to create an atmosphere of resentment with massive bonuses, for example.
• Point out where they need to improve; you want to encourage even your best performers to strive harder.
• Praise top performers when they excel. Don't assume that they know they're doing a good job.

You Feeling Down....?

YOUR CROSS

Whatever your cross
Whatever your pain
There will always be sunshine
After the rain
Perhaps you may stumble
Perhaps even fall
But God's always there
To help you through it all

The Tax Poem...story of our lives......

The Tax Poem


At first I thought this was funny...then I realized the

awful truth of it. Be sure to read all the way to the end!

Tax his land,

Tax his bed,

Tax the table

At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,

Tax his mule,

Teach him taxes

Are the rule.

Tax his work,

Tax his pay,

He works for peanuts

Anyway!

Tax his cow,

Tax his goat,

Tax his pants,

Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,

Tax his shirt,

Tax his work,

Tax his dirt.

Tax his drink,

Tax him if he

Tries to think.

Tax his cigars,

Tax his beers,

If he cries

Tax his tears.

Tax his car,

Tax his gas,

Find other ways

To tax his ass.

Tax all he has

Then let him know

That you won't be done

Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers;

Then tax him some more,

Tax him till

He's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,

Tax his grave,

Tax the sod in

Which he's laid.

Put these words

Upon his tomb,

'Taxes drove me

to my doom...'


When he's gone,

Do not relax,

Its time to apply

The inheritance tax.

Accounts Receivable Tax

Airline surcharge tax

Airline Fuel Tax

Airport Maintenance Tax

Building Permit Tax

Cigarette Tax

Corporate Income Tax

Death Tax

Dog License Tax

Driving Permit Tax

Excise Taxes

Federal Income Tax

Federal Unemployment (UI)

Fishing License Tax

Food License Tax

Gasoline Tax ( too much per litre)

Gross Receipts Tax

Health Tax

Hunting License Tax

Hydro Tax

Inheritance Tax

Interest Tax

Liquor Tax

Luxury Taxes

Marriage License Tax

Medicare Tax

Mortgage Tax

Personal Income Tax

Poverty Tax

Prescription Drug Tax

Property Tax

Provincial Income Tax

Real Estate Tax

Recreational Vehicle Tax

Retail Sales Tax

Service Charge Tax

School Tax

Telephone Federal Tax

Telephone Federal, Provincial and Local Surcharge Taxes

Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax

Vehicle License Registration Tax

Vehicle Sales Tax

Water Tax

Watercraft Registration Tax

Well Permit Tax

Workers Compensation Tax


STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?


Not one of these taxes existed 92 years ago, and our

nation was one of the most prosperous in the world.


We had absolutely no national debt




What in the hell happened? ....you tell me brother

Isn't life beautiful?

Is it a drag for you to get out of bed every morning?
Do you find it difficult to go to work every day?
Do you find you put in many hours of work for very little compensation...ie MONEY?
Would you rather be doing something else instead?
What are your dreams?
What do you want to be when you grow up? ..... so to speak.....!!!!!

What's Your Biggest Beef at Work?

DO YOU DREAD GOING TO WORK IN THE MORNING?
HAVE YOU BEEN HARASSED BY YOUR CO-WORKERS?
BETTER STILL: Did your Boss try to get into your pants?
Send us your comments....., they will be private, but they will make for a lot of hot, anonymous stories......!!!!!

Skype

Are you running a small home based business?
Are you a road warrior?
Are you spending more than you should on your long distane calls?
Do you want a simple, straight-forward system that will let you talk on the phone as much as you either want to or need to?
If your answer to any of these questions is: YES
Then check out:
www.skype.com

ARE YOU IN SALES ---- Closing Sales

Are you in Sales.....Yes...you say.....!!! read on

• A Direct Close - Simply ask for the order when you are sure your prospect is ready.

• A Deal/Concession Close - Using this closing technique gives the prospect the feeling that they are making a smart choice, getting more value and saving money. . Use it with phrases like: "Order today and I can add this extra feature for only 10 percent more."

• A Time-Driven Close - This one works well with statements like: "Prices are going up next Wednesday, so you should go ahead a let me process your order today."

• Trial Offer - You can let the prospect use the product at no risk for a trial period. They aren't likely to want to give it back if it has saved them time and effort during the trial period. If, on the flop side, they haven't had the experience you told them they would with the product, then you probably won't get another chance.

"ID 10 T" Error - Computer problems anyone?

Last Saturday morning, after my usual cup of coffee in the kitchen, I headed on to my study to check out my emails and take care of a few online chores when suddenly I began having trouble with my computer, so being stuck and not knowing what to do, I called Justin, the 11 year old boy from next door, whose bedroom looks like a mission control center, and asked if he could come over to have a look at it, and see if anything could be done.

After looking at the computer and clicking a couple of buttons, he solved the problem. As he was walking away, I called after him and asked “What was wrong?”.

He replied, “It was an "ID ten T" Error”. As you might imagine, I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, “An ID ten T" error" ?, What is that, in case I need to fix it again.

Justin grinned… “Haven’t you ever heard of an "ID ten T" Error" before ? "No, I replied". “Write it down he said, and I think you will figure it out”

So, I wrote down: ID10T

Isn't it funny how we get tangled up in twists and details that we tend not to see the Forrest for the Trees.