A Biker's Prayer

Author Unknown

May the sun rise in front of me

May the rain fall behind me

and the wind

follow me

May the angels of my brothers and sisters who have gone before me guard my travels for they know the perils of the road ahead of me

Keep me safe through the city streets on my way to the land of swirling turns and rolling hills

Let the colors of fall keep me warm, let the eagle guide me yo the mountain tops, let the moon's light guide me through the night

May my tires not fail me, nor my engine grow old, may my bike draw life from the streams I pass

Keep my seat soft and my mind sharp, let the air of spring breathe life into my soul to journey to another adventure...

Honda riders beware...! Here cometh the judge.

This is a 2010 Honda shadow RS

A Honda rider decided to travel to Europe by cruise ship and managed to secure passage on the same boat as a bunch of Harley riders.

Midway through the voyage, the ship sank and the rider wound up in a three-man lifeboat with the ship's captain and two of the HD riders.

The captain announced that someone would have to get out. "We'll do it right though," he said.

"The three of you will be given a fair test and the loser will jump out."

Everyone agreed, so the captain turned to one of the Harley riders and asked, "What was the largest ocean liner to sink in the past century?"

"The Titanic." "Right," said the captain.

Turning to the other Harley rider, he asked, "How many people were on the Titanic?" "2463" "That's correct," the captain stated.

Fixing a hard eye on the Honda rider, he then said, "Name 'em."

Double Dating in Iraq

Feel Like a drink ?

A very, very difficult question for Abby to ponder

Dear Abby,

I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what could be a crucial decision.

I've suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs...phone rings, but if I answer, the caller hangs up.

My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently, although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don't know them."

I sometimes stay awake to look out for her cab coming home, but she always comes walking up the drive as I hear the sound of a car leaving, around the corner, as if she has gotten out and walked the rest of the way. Why? Maybe she wasn't in a taxi at all?

I once picked up her cell phone, just to see what time it was. This caused her to go completely berserk. She quickly snatched the phone out of my hand and cursed me hysterically, screaming that I should never touch her personal property, then accused me of trying to spy on her.

Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson Lowrider next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the street around the corner when she came home.

It was at that moment, crouching behind my motorcycle that I noticed a small amount of motor oil leaking through the gasket between the rear head and rocker arm cover.

So...is this something I can easily repair myself or do you think I should take it back to the dealer?

Daddy, how was I born?

A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?

The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button , nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:

You got MALE

The ONLY Toyota not on the Recall List

Newfie and Cop.....

A Newfoundland farmer named Angus had a car accident.

In court, the Eversweet Company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Angus. 'Didn't you say to the RCMP at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor.

Angus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite cow, Bessie, into the... '

'I didn't ask for any details', the solicitor interrupted. 'Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?

' Angus said, 'Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road.... '

The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question. '

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Angus' answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie'.Angus thanked the Judge and proceeded.

'Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the road when this huge Eversweet truck and trailer came through a stop sign and hit my trailer right in the side.

I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurt, very bad like, and didn't want to move.

However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning.

I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up.

He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her.

After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the policeman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, 'How are you feeling?'

'Now what the Hell would you say?'

For my biker Chicks...... good news

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French Diplomacy....or is it just sex....

US Power-----global

Future Monarch pondering future of colonies

US diplomacy in the Bush administration

Fishing trip

Dave and his buddies were hanging
out and planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately,
he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time
because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of
teasing and name calling, Dave headed home, frustrated.

The following week, when Dave's buddies arrived at the
lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Dave was
already there. He was already sitting at the campground
with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and
a camp fire glowing.

"How did you talk your missus into letting you go
Dave?" "I didn't have to," Dave replied.
I went home from work last night and slumped down in my
chair with a beer to drown my sorrows. Then the ol'
lady snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said,
'Surprise'. When I peeled her hands back she was
standing there in a beautiful see-through negligee and she
said, 'Carry me into the bedroom and tie me to the bed
and you can do whatever you want'......SO HERE I
AM!"

Obey the Law or else

Having already downed a few power drinks, she turned around, faced him, looked him straight in the eye and said, 'Listen here, Good Looking, I screw anybody, anytime, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, dirty, clean . . . it doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college and I just love it.'

Eyes now wide with interest, he responded,'No kidding. I'm a lawyer, too. What firm are you with?'