Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV
Set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
• If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China.
• If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
• If you purchase a computer, it will go to India ..
• If you purchase fruit or vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala .
• If you buy a car, it will go to Japan.
• If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
• If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses, and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in by:
1. Spending it at yard sales, or
2. Going to ball games, or
3. Beer or
4. Tattoos.
(These are the only businesses still operating in North America.)
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