Modern day “Gentleman Godiva” truly a bare-naked bozo on a "BIKE"

September 18, 2009
By David Menzies

The Ocala, Fla. police had a perfectly good reason to pull over a motorcyclist earlier this week. For starters, the motorcycle was travelling in a very erratic fashion. And secondly, the motorcyclist was completely nude.

OK, granted Florida is the “Sunshine State” and it can be such a bothersome task keeping those pesky tan lines at bay. But cruising the interstate in one’s birthday suit?

Mike Rolls, the sheriff's captain for Marion County, was on duty when he passed by the naked man sitting atop a silver-hued motorcycle near Ocala's Interstate 75. Rolls immediately began pursuit.

After the bare-naked biker drove through a red light (seldom a good sign), Rolls was able to pull-over the aspiring mobile nudist who was later identified as Dante Krauss, 45.

Krauss said he didn’t know where he had been that day (turned out he was at a Hooters, actually) and he had absolutely no explanation for his nakedness (turns out he was drinking copious quantities of booze at Hooters.)

Eventually, Krause admitted to having “a few drinks” prior to embarking on his motorcycle ride. Well, more than a few, actually. A Breathalyzer test indicated Krauss had a .162 blood alcohol level, considerably above the state’s .08 legal limit.

After providing the naked nitwit with a shirt and shawl, Rolls placed the man under arrest and brought him to the Marion County Jail.

Adding to the sheer stupidity of the escapade, this was Krauss’s fifth DUI charge. He was later released on US$20,000 bail.

Questions still abound. Such as: how many DUIs does one have to receive before one’s licence is permanently revoked? And how did Krauss happen to have 20 grand on him when he didn’t even have any pockets? And why is it we never hear about Hooters Girls commuting au natural?

In the meantime, it should go without saying (but we’ll say it anyway): biking, alcohol and nudity just do not mix.

Posted at 12:01 AM |