Saturday, September 12, 2009

The military is got it wrong.......

This was written by a Former Soldier-

New Direction for any war: ' Send Service Vets over 60'!

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists.
You can't be older than 42 to join the military.

They've got the whole thing a%#-backwards.
Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys.

You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters:

Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.

Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier.

'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' we are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m.

Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell.

Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical SOB....

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them.
In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food.

We've also developed an appreciation for guns..

We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too.

I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet. An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl.
He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists.

The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.


Voegtli said...

Reading your description makes me feel to be a perfect candidate for service. As my mission ends next month, I will apply.

Melissa Russell said...'s our job to nag.. take out the trash, put the toilet seat down, don't wipe your greasy hands on my dish towels... Hey flush the toilet green fog is coming out,..get your leg off my side of the bed... it's time to mow the lawn again....

see how dull and boring life would be without us :)

Dave and Deb said...

I love it! My favorite was trying to remember name rank and serial number.
What a funny post!
Yet oddly, it makes sense. Maybe the military should check out this article!

BBE said...

Dad's army will rise again. Get Captain Mainwaring to command them :)


Bill ~ {The Old Fart} said...

How true,

Scribe816 said...

LMAO. This is funny stuff, even for us old fart.

Canajun said...

LOL. Too true.

My Unfinished Life said...

interesting point of view....

OutLander said...


Funny thing - I think it might even work.

Zuzana said...

Even though I am a female and know close to nothing about the military, this was a fun read.;)

MeanStreak said...

There are alot of truths in there, great read! Thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing this :) It's so true LOL

irondad said...

Wow, I have a whole new enthusiasm for getting older! Got to add an AR-15 to my handgun arsenal and start warming up.

The only trouble is in following orders. Oh, I know we're used to it. The problem is getting halfway to our mission and forgetting what it was.

B.B. said...


GMG said...

Hi Baron! As you'll see from below, I just joined the group, but I don't think I'm in the mood to apply... ;))
The Viagra HQs are amazing!! ;)

Sorry for the long absence, but after one year work, I got my official week off and, as always, the week before was terrible and the return awful... ;). Furthermore, there was 09.09.09, which for me was a bit depressing, as I entered a Club 60 I would prefer to postpone the joining... ;))

Blogtrotter is now in Turkey. Enjoy and have a fabulous week!

Ed said...

You know, I thought about trying to enlist back on 9/11/01 (I was 51) and if I had thought of all this stuff to tell them, they might have taken me!

Rob said...

I was a soldier back in the day and I think this posting is right on. Old people are the bomb!

The Peach Tart said...

That was a fabulous post.

Dr.John said...

Most logical thing I have read all day.

Mediterranean Turkish Cook said...

There are many good points... It was fun to read :)